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My 2008 roundup of the worst movies made last year.

The List

To be eligible for ranking on the list, the movie had to bring out a number of emotions in me. Anger, sleep, boredom, astonishment, bewilderment and the urge to punch my enormous 52″ LCD. Several movies did this to me this 2008 movie year, some of them I hated so much that I generally dislike anyone who enjoyed them.

Without any further hesitation, avoid these movies if you haven’t already.

Indiana Jones 4

Why it sucked : Harrison Ford, Shia LaBeouf, Karen Allen. All three took the level of suck to a new plateau for this film. The entire writing team expected you to have a level of idiocy x 10 , and you did. The money this putrid film too in was mesmorizing and sickening, proving that the masses of movie goers really are sheep. Read my full review

Quantum of Solace

Take a legendary franchise, add a goofy looking Daniel Craig and give him superhuman powers, and voila.. the new James Bond is born. I almost punched my LCD a dozen times while watching this festering pile of dog crap, it was beyond pathetic in every aspect. With every overdramatic scene, I wished death upon James Bond and if you enjoyed this film, I hate you too. Read my full review

Meet The Spartans

There was no excuse for Meet The Spartans, and there never will be.

The Love Guru

A pathetic display of cramming unfunny jokes, voices and characters down our collective throats.

X-Files : I Want To Believe

I want to believe this is all a sick nightmare. I want to believe David Duchovny is above doing any more bad X-File movies, but he isn’t. I want to believe Aliens took over production, and made the movie unwatchable.. there’s no other explanation you could have to turn such a wonderful, brilliant series into such a disaster motion picture. I thought Gillian Anderson may show us her boos in this film, and give me a reason to like it a bit, but no… no boobs at all.

88 Minutes

Al Pacino took 88 minutes of my life, I’ll never get back. Read about the movie

Over Her Dead Body

Its too bad Eva Longoria never said she would make this movie, over her dead body, then she did… and .. you get the idea.. give this film to someone you hate. Read about the movie

Righteous Kill

Al Pacinoi makes my list two times in 2008, but perhaps only because he never made a third movie. His name in the movie is “Rooster”. Need I say more? Al Pacino’s face could be used as an alternative to a stomach pump. Read about the movie

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Zack and Miri almost made the cut, but couldn’t quite escape the dubious award of making my Worst Movies of 2008 award. Seth Rogan’s routine is old, boring and predictable and Banks never gets naked for her role. I couldn’t deal with the predictability and uneventfulness this film had to offer. Read the original review.

Transporter 3

You would think in order for there to be a Transporter 3, the previous two would have had to be good films. Wrong. Transporter 3 carries the Fail that lies within the first two, and delivers and epic amount of fail only Jason Statham could deliver. Its like watching a male stripper pretend to be Superman for one and half hours, and film left me all dirty inside. Great movie if you have a man crush on Statham, one of the worst movies of 2008 if you expected a decent action movie. Read the review

Hulk

Hulk! OMG! You suck at movie reviews! I can hear it now, how can I place such a blockbuster in this list? Listen, Hulk was a boring love story, with corny action moments and lackluster characters. Hulk still looks like a dull animation, and the action in the film was next to nothing. If you like love stories, you loved this film. because thats all it was. Read the review

You Don’t Mess With The Zohan

‘Nuff said! Read the preview

Speed Racer

I watched it the first time, and it was bad. I stole some of my father’s LSD and tried watching it again, and it still was bad. Speed Racer was a bad movie, really bad.

Fools Gold

If there was any excuse to have a movie with Matthew McConaughey running around with his shirt off, this was it. Throw in an untalented Kate Hudson in her bikini, and you’ve got a perfect film for… well.. for the Rainbow Coalition. How do Matthew and Kate still get cast in the same movie after How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days ?

The Happening

The irony in a movie called “The Happening” when nothing actually happens, is either brilliant or tragic, and I haven’t figured out which one it is. The only thing for sure, is M. Night Shyamalan’s filmmaking career is almost, and thankfully.. over. Read the preview

Drillbit Taylor

Anything with Owen Wilson has “Epic Failure” written all over it, but Drillbit Taylor took the level of suck to an elite status. Drillbit Taylor was.. unforgivable and I feel like I have been vitimized by Hollywood. I remember lying in the middle of the room in the fetal positoin, sobbing.. asking for a higher power to make the pain stop. Read the review

Just Missed The Cut

The following films just barely missed the cut from being one of the worst films in 2008

Son of Rambo
Death Race,
Semi-Pro.
Prom Night
Punisher Warzone
I am Legend {Late 2007 Release}
Run, Fat Boy, Run
Superhero Movie
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Leatherheads
10,000 BC

Look forward to next year.